FUN | HONESTY | REFLECTION
First of all… what do I mean by a heart-filled life? This is my philosophy that I started to tap into when I launched Irish Dance Village in 2020 during lockdown. I use this approach (most of the time) to inform, design and lead my life. You can read more about it in this previous blog post but in short I believe that you can design a life you love and deserve by creating it for yourself. You are in control of your life. When you operate from a place of ‘heart-filled’ then you are fulfilled and inspired, content and energised, positive and compassionate. You will, to use popular parlance, be your best self.
Don’t get me wrong, I have low energy days, dips, lethargy and lack motivation just like everyone but since adopting the heart-filled philosophy I can accept it with compassion, learn about myself from it and find a way to a more balanced existence much quicker than I did before. Previously I would wallow, become a victim in my own head, blame others and situations and indulge in negativity because it was so enticing. Feeling bad can be alluring too. Now I reset and dip in to my ‘toolbox’ to learn, grow and find my way back to me. I am more aware when I am heading into a lower energy version of myself and compassionately give myself what I need to live here for a while before embracing and redressing the balance.
How? Well I will definitely cover the toolbox idea in another blog but before that here are three ways to start the discovery to what would inform that toolbox and what it means for you to be ‘heart-filled’.
Be a kid again
Remember fun? Remember how easy it was to have fun when we were kids. The joy of puddle jumping, our activities like Guides or sports and even simple games in the playground with our peers.
What do you remember from your childhood that found fun?
When were you at your happiest?
Take a moment to reflect and bask in those memories. Identify the feelings. If you can, write them down.
How can you replicate these activities in your adult life? Maybe a one-off activity like trampoline park fitness class, try a pottery class or enjoy a day out at a theme park (without the kids!). Perhaps volunteering at a club that made a difference in your childhood.
It may be that a more long term commitment like a weekly class in something you used to do as a child or something that you find interesting now.
I know getting through that door is the first hurdle so maybe as a friend to come with you or get in touch with the activity leader to let them know that you are apprehensive; hopefully they will be encouraging and help you get over that first barrier to attending.
Be honest
Its very revealing and hard to be scathingly honest with yourself. We are none of us perfect (imagine!) and sometimes admitting your flaws, times when you were wrong and mistakes you’ve made can make us feel just terrible and of course leaving it there, burying it and not confronting them will just make them fester even if we don’t pay attention to them. By speaking them out loud, writing them down and even just thinking these uncomfortable truths through you can see them more clearly. Now time to learn from it.
Why did I say / act / do that? Was it jealousy, anger, insecurity? Why? Get to the why and acknowledge the real deep down reason. Negative emotions can teach us so much if we really look at them. When we experience resistance then it’s actually an opportunity to learn. Push past the painful or uncomfortable feeling – it just means you are on to something.
What steps can I take to alleviate this feeling? Apologise? Forgive myself? Change my behaviour going forward? Whatever you do, do it with compassion… you are only human. Take time to write it down so that you can reflect and learn.
Reflect
This is probably the biggest one. When we try new things, looking for fun or get really honest with ourselves then we are only doing half the work if we don’t reflect on the impact it has had on us.
A quick way to gauge the impact of an activity or journaling session is to do a mood score before the activity and then again after. It will give you a quick insight to how effective it was.
A step further would be to explore the ‘why’. What more specifically about the activity or session led to this change in score. If its positive or negative you can still learn!
Reflection is a powerful tool to help you learn about the current activities and people in your life, your job, or that icky feeling in the pit of your stomach that lingers.
For me my reflections led me to discover that I no longer liked alcohol, going ‘out-out’ or even straining to spend time with people that were draining me. Instead I have found a healthier outlook on life both mentally and physically and I can honestly say that I live in a heart-filled place for the majority of the time. Any time I feel the weight of life I confront it head on and takes steps to create the day, week, month and life that I deserve to live and can design for myself. Compassion has become a priority.
If this all feels overwhelming then I can recommend looking in to finding a life coach to help you navigate your way through. Its a personal choice and the fit needs to be right. I personally found Zoey Forbes to be the right fit for me. Sometimes a chat with a friend can be a good place to start. It just needs to be right for you.
Wishing you a #heartfilled day…
Love,
Jenni
@IrishDanceVillage
@Siamsoir_IrishDancers
@TheIrishDanceAcademy
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Irish Dance Village
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Websites
www.irishdancevillage.co.uk
http://www.irishdanceacademy.co.uk (coming soon)
http://www.siamsoir.co.uk (coming soon)
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